3 Tips If Your Spouse Was On The Ashley Madison List

Catch your spouse on Ashley Madison? Call a lawyer immediately! 205-582-2832

Catch your spouse on Ashley Madison? Call a lawyer immediately! 205-582-2832

The biggest news for all divorce lawyers these days is the Ashley Madison drama. The sewage spillage of people’s dirty laundry has come to the surface, and it’s not pretty for the state of Alabama which is number one on the list. This makes me really want to point out that we also happen to be one of the most uptight states (correlation, perhaps?).  People are constantly chatting about all of the people they know on the list. The only people not talking about it are those people who are on the list. Those people are stuck in a devastated shock whether it be the spouse who was on the site or the spouse who found out about the sexual and financial infidelity. If you’re one of those spouses who unluckily found out that your spouse was on the list everyone is passing around, you’ll need to think about the following tips:

  1. Call a lawyer immediately. You may decide you want to forgive and forget, but you need to know your rights before you do. You may think that you can forgive a few looksies and a few touchies, but next thing you know you see that he’s spent over $1,000.00 on this website and you realize it was way more than a little. The last thing you want to do is go blindly into the future. Going to a lawyer is not the end all be all. Going to a lawyer doesn’t mean that you will get a divorce. It does not mean that you cannot go to counseling. It is merely a way making sure you can make a completely informed decision going forward. If you think divorce lawyers cause divorces, you’ll need to check out our blog here. We don’t want you to get a divorce. We want to make sure we can protect our potential clients whether or not they decide to stay together. There are things that you could consider to protect yourself if you are staying together, such as a Postnuptial Agreement.
  2. Think long and hard before you partake in “making up.” There’s this thing called condonation, which means that you forgive and forget by letting your spouse wriggle their way back into the marital bed. We are by no means telling you to stay away from “making up,” but condonation is one sure fire way to legally throw away your adultery claim. Also, as my law partner put it so eloquently yesterday – “you never know what kind of icky thing they picked up.”
  3. Get off Facebook (and social media) immediately. Everyone has the list. There’s this curious nature in humans that makes them look at a car wreck even when they don’t want to see it. You don’t want to see what people are saying. It’ll only hurt worse. Most of all, though, you don’t want to say what’s on your mind for the next few months. It could be very very very bad. So, put down that glass of wine and sign off your social media presence until this blows over.

BONUS TIP: Only Carrie Underwood gets away with taking a baseball bat to his 4-wheel drive. There are consequences for the rest of us.

Birmingham Divorce Attorneys: 5 Facts about Divorce in Birmingham (The Magic City)

Divorce in the Magic City isn't necessarily magical. Give us a call for an initial consult at 205-582-2832.

Divorce in the Magic City isn’t necessarily magical. Give us a call for an initial consult at 205-582-2832.

Sometimes in the Magic City couples lose the “magic” in their relationship. They no longer feel the way they once used to, leading to a very expensive fight. Maybe financial problems have torn them apart. Perhaps, it was a vice of some sort like alcohol, marijuana, heroin, excessive brownie intake, or even strippers. Regardless of the core reason that caused the dissolution, those people inevitably have to figure out the best way to split up everything without destroying themselves in the process. They begin googling divorce, child custody, and alimony (we’ve even seen the term “aliMONEY” in our google analytics) and start asking friends for advice. Then they start the divorce process highly educated in a variety of jurisdiction’s principles. They fail to realize that even one county away divorce is vastly different than the Magic City.  Sadly, they’re in for a rude awakening when they begin filing things and visiting with attorneys. Here’s a few facts about getting divorced in Birmingham to help you along the way:

  1. There are thousands of attorneys in the Birmingham area. A large portion of these attorneys handle domestic cases regardless of whether they are truly capable of doing so or not. Since the true nature of domestic or matrimonial law is fact based and ever changing, there are numerous lawyers who thrive in that gray and hide behind the safety of the statement “there’s no guarantee of a good outcome.” Ever since the criminal appointment system in Birmingham dissipated, lawyers who only practiced criminal law are now jumping into the domestic arena with little or no experience. There are lawyers everywhere who practice “threshold law,” meaning they’ll take anything that pays the bills. This has led to an increase in fees because domestic attorneys are forced to either teach the other side what they need to do to make this process move smoothly or deal with the incompetence of the other side. The pleadings and negotiating go downhill. The trials are flooded with nonsensical mess. Just because you found an attorney, doesn’t mean they do what you need. Would you go to an allergist to solve your heart problem?
  2. As the General of your army, you need to make the proper decision in regards to choosing an attorney right for you. The large amount of attorneys in this area comes with a large variety of attorneys you can choose from. If you are simply googling, you’ll get the people who pay the most for search engine optimization. This doesn’t mean you’re getting an attorney who is right for you. There are a few of those attorneys who will bleed you dry and send you on your way. How do you think they pay to be #1 on Google? If you have a complicated custody issue, look for an attorney that focuses on custody. Many lawyers advertise custody but have never been a Guardian Ad Litem. Ask your lawyer directly what they think an ideal custody situation is. If they are giving you what you want to hear, you know they aren’t looking out for your children first. If you have a high asset divorce, don’t just look for someone who advertises high asset divorces because sometimes…that’s just code for “clients that can afford to pay me.” Do your own research and NEVER hire someone who lists another area of law as their primary area of practice. You may save money at first, but you’ll end up having to hire someone else to clean up what they didn’t understand later.
  3. You could be waiting at least a year for your day in court. Just because you’re wanting to duke this out in court doesn’t mean that you’ll be in court in the next couple of months. Jefferson County is flooded with divorce cases, and don’t get me started on modifications. Sometimes it takes three months to get a Final Order on an Uncontested Divorce. You have to be patient, and you need someone who knows realistic time expectations, especially when it comes to which Judge is assigned to your case. You are in the largest county in the state. What does that mean? Larger numbers of people flooding the court system.
  4. Stop assuming that the mother is always getting custody, child support, and alimony. There are some counties where this is a guarantee. This is not one of them. Once again, this depends on your judge, but as a woman do not go in there expecting to win everything simply because you are a woman. As a man, stop giving up everything because you expect that to happen. This is not 1950. If it were, my outfits would be so much cuter. Also, people would never think it was okay to wear jeans to court. It’s not okay to wear jeans to court. Please, if you’re my client, do not ever wear jeans to court.
  5. There are two divisions for Jefferson County and so
    Your family's law firm. 205-582-2832

    We love the Magic City so much, we put in our firm’s name. We want to be your family’s law firm in the Magic City. 205-582-2832

     

    many courthouses. There is not just one almighty courthouse downtown like most counties in the state of Alabama. Jefferson County separates its domestic courts from the civil court, family court, and the criminal court. They even have another Bessemer Division that handle cases in the Bessemer area. The odds of getting lost without proper guidance are pretty good. Make sure your lawyer informs you of where and when to show up to court.

5 Ways You Can Help Us Help You

It’s thirty minutes after trial has ended. The client looks over at her attorney and mutters, “I had witnesses that could have testified to all of that. Why are they saying it’s only my word against his? I have letters, emails, text messages, and even recorded phone calls that can prove what I just testified to! He was lying too. I can prove that in a heartbeat. Look, I’ve got his mistress on speed dial and she said she’d testify to him paying her in diamonds. She said she’d tell the Judge he’d make it rain with diamonds while she was naked on the bed! I even have pictures in my glove compartment to prove that they were doing all this, and a video in my backpack. Oh, and she’s only 16.”  The lawyer, who has been prepping for this case for months, worried about no evidence, worked with her client over testimony, is absolutely flabbergasted.

After all this time prepping, talking to the client each and every day, could her client not mention any of this? Was she not listening when her client told her that her ex husband was making it rain with diamonds? There’s absolutely no way. That is something she would surely remember. It comes down to this simple fact: clients keep things from their lawyers. They don’t tell us everything. Okay, the good ones tell us a lot and help us prepare for trial. The ones that keep things from us are the ones that don’t always win their trial because we were missing proof that could’ve helped them. I almost want to say “Well, too little too late.” I don’t though. Instead I think of every way I can to help them tell me what will help them. Which brings us to this:

  1. If you think it could help your case, then help us help you. Don’t keep anything
    5 Ways You Can Help Us Help You!!!

    5 Ways You Can Help Us Help You!!!

    from your lawyer. (There are exceptions to this when it comes to criminal cases.) We suggest that you keep a diary. Write everything down. We don’t have to be phone pals, talking each and every day, but we want to know what’s important. If he is playing “Pretty Pretty Princess” with his mistress, then write it down and bring us proof if you have it! If you want to keep your bill down, then write short little notes to help you remember or to give to us to review. You don’t have to be our pen pal just to keep us informed, but you must tell us. If we were mind readers, we’d all be billionaires.

  2. Don’t wait to tell us. Write it all down immediately and let us know WAY before trial. If there is Discovery that is due, it might be a good idea to tell us before we do all of that. In order for us to fully prepare, we need ALL your information before the other side gets it. We need to know the good and the bad of our clients, so we are fully prepared to go to trial.
  3. If you have evidence, stop telling us about it and give it to us. There’s only so much that words can do. Clients can talk a lot of talk, but when it comes to proving their case, they often fall short. Bring us the bacon… or… uh… the smoking gun? We had a client bring us her husband’s lover’s prescription meds boxes and hair out of her shower drain that didn’t match her or her husband’s. Is this gross? Sure, a little, but at least she could prove that girl was in her home and using her shower. If you find naked photos or love letters, bring them to us. We don’t want you to describe them to us.
  4. Do not hold on to past criminal acts to use against your ex at the last minute. It doesn’t look good for our case. You cannot simply throw mud back and forth when you’re holding onto a time bomb. If you don’t want to use it against them, then by all means, do not use it against them. If you get angry enough to use it against them, it shouldn’t be at the end of the case. You either try to be nice and stay that way, or you bring it up fast. You should tell your lawyer about this time bomb before it is ready to explode. The last thing we want to do after negotiating a visitation schedule for four weeks is to then say, oh never mind, she’s been having an affair with a student at school for the past year. The Judge’s reaction if that comes out after multiple hearings will not only be disbelief but distrust.
  5. Just communicate. We know when it comes to lawyers that talk isn’t cheap. However, if you don’t talk to us because you fear the money implications of it all, then you end up only cheating yourself. Be effective by keeping a diary. Come in for short meetings where you stay on track telling us the high notes. Don’t call every day, but call and keep us informed. Make and keep appointments. Get us evidence without us having to work extra hard for it. Call your witnesses and talk to them before we do so they know what to expect. Be open with everyone, and your case will be economically efficient for you and time efficient for your attorney!

Birmingham Divorce Attorneys: Can you win my case?

Criminal Defense and Family Law are hard realms to predict. Give us a call today to see if the odds are in YOUR favor! 205-582-2832

Divorce and Family Law are hard realms to predict. Give us a call today to see if the odds are in YOUR favor! 205-582-2832

We inevitably get asked, “how many cases do you win?” or “what’s your records for these types of cases” or “is my case a winnable case?” The issue is that we’re not civil attorneys. This isn’t a car wreck. I know sometimes the complete disaster that your relationship has become feels like some sort of car wreck as a euphemism of sorts, but the types of law are not comparable. There are numerous factors that come into play that make such simplified questions almost funny. We stress that no results are predicted. We can, however, almost guarantee that all of our cases will end in a divorce, but the funny part of that is that it still depends on you. Here are a few factors that you need to consider before trying to make your lawyer’s ability to “win” your case so black and white:

  1. You may be the villain. We don’t know whether you’re a great person or not. We met you just like you met us. It may have been through a friend or family member, but each of us has deep dark secrets that others don’t know. We may begin to represent you, and low and behold your deep dark secret is the equivalent to demonic possession. We can only do so much when our client is really not the “victim,” regardless of whether he or she feels victimized. Further, we can only prove so much to the Judge as far as parenting when the other side is able to see through your mask and is able to do so in front of the Judge.
  2. Your ex may be Mother Theresa. Similar to how you could truly be Voldemort of sorts, your ex could be perfection. He or she could practically be a saint and no matter what you do, they can 1-up you in the eyes of the court, the law, and your case. You could be stating what a great influence you are, but no matter what, they could be doing it better than you. We can show how wonderful you are all day long, you may come up smelling like roses, but if the other side comes up smelling like cookies, it’s going to be hard to beat.
  3. Case law is hard to overcome. We can try to overcome some case that we feel is unfair and ridiculous, but there’s this thing called stare decisis which means “to stand by things decided.” Basically, for you, it means that as different as you are, as different as your facts are, the law must be followed as it was in similar cases. This is one thing that is forever stagnant. We can attempt to show the facts in such a way as to differentiate your case, but the Judge will not reinvent the wheel for each case. If they did, could you imagine how backed up our court systems would be?
  4. Evidence is essential. We have the responsibility of “proving” your case through evidence. You can tell us all day long that someone said something to you that gave you concern, but we can’t prove to the court what was said unless we bring proof. Just like when we first met each other, the Judge doesn’t know you. They can’t take your word for it because, as it was said above, you could be the villain in all this. Lying under oath is not beneath a majority of people. It may seem like a big deal to some, but there are a large amount of people who do it without blinking an eye. If you want to say that you saw your husband token up on the weekends, bring us a picture. If you want to say that your wife is diddling the soccer coach, bring us video proof. If your husband is letting your brother in law tattoo the children, make sure the children are there to show the judge the tattoos. If your wife’s mother is making poisonous potions and putting it in your soup, bring us 1) the soup 2) a scientist that has tested it and 3) video of her actually attempting to poison you. We can only do so much work without assistance from our clients.
  5. It all comes down to the Judge. Regardless of what you want, how your trial goes, what facts you present, how you feel about your case, what witnesses turn up, what your lawyer says, what the opposing attorney says, what evidence you give us, none of it matters if the Judge doesn’t want to give you what you want. Some judges are anti-alimony; some are very pro joint custody. Filing for divorce is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. You might end up with pure milk chocolate and caramel, or you might end up with one of those nasty raspberry filled pieces. Be prepared to change your expectations depending on which judge you get. It’s very rare that you’ll get another!

Birmingham Family Law Attorneys: 5 No No’s for Facebook!!!

Pending court case? Here are 5 No No's on Facebook!!! Call Meyer, Middleton, & DeLuca to find out more at 205-202-0070!

Pending court case? Here are 5 No No’s on Facebook!!! Call Magic City Law, LLC to find out more at 205-582-2832!

How often do you log in to Facebook? Do you check it religiously? Is it something that you could give or take? Facebook has lead to a huge addiction for most people. The first thing I do before meeting someone for a consult or get appointed a case, is to Facebook stalk that person. I want to know what kind of person they are. Are they the kind that posts inspirational things throughout the day? Are they the kind that airs their dirty laundry for all to see?! When you have a pending court action, Facebook can make or break your case. Here are a few tips for dealing with Facebook:

  1. Delete your Facebook account AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Facebook isn’t your friend. Also, there may be tons of people on your “friends” list but that doesn’t mean that they are either. What they really are… are ninjas for your ex who are there to spy on you and report back or send screenshots to your ex in order to help him or her with their case against you. Something as harmless as a picture of you with a friend’s husband having a beer when your friend stepped away to talk to another table can be misconstrued if used in the correct way.  If you post something and someone takes it wrong… it could be used against you. Also, if you post something and someone takes it right… it can be used against you.  If you decide to keep Facebook while you have a pending court case then, at the very least, follow the rest of these tips.
  2. Don’t Drink and Facebook. You may be the most careful Facebook user of all time, but when you’re in an emotional place and you’ve had a few drinks, things my change. You may log on to Facebook, and start looking at pictures of you and your ex together. You may log onto Facebook and see pictures of your ex with your kids at a ballgame the previous week. Next thing you know, you’re post something along the lines of “My ex is such a maggot. I can’t wait until I take his cheating POS to court in a few months. He will regret the day he married me. Oh, BT DUB, I slept with your bestie and it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to everyone, AND IT IS A BIG DEAL.”
  3. Just because you deleted it, doesn’t mean it’s gone. Have you heard of a crafty little thing called screen shots? They are a nifty useful tool that make bad split second decisions live forever in infamy. Just don’t post it. If you do, then delete it quickly and hope to goodness that someone isn’t out ninja’ing you.
  4. Don’t let your friends do the passive aggressive posting for you. Your friends are an extension of you. Each one of you needs to take the high road. I don’t care if she does it on her own. You need to disassociate if she does it. It is not her place to ruin your case. You will be held accountable for your peers. It’s just like high school, so pick them wisely.
  5. If you start seeing someone, or have been seeing someone, dear goodness do not make it Facebook official. Do not post pictures of the two of you together. Do not post on each other’s walls. Do not “like” each other’s photos. Do not mention each other in a status. (Ex: Me and my sweetie are going to Disney! #adultery #whatdreamsaremadeof #startginover #divorce). Lastly, do NOT check in to a hotel with them.

BONUS: If you aren’t paying your child support, alimony, or attorney because you “can’t afford it” DO NOT post a picture of you at the Iron Bowl.

Birmingham Divorce Attorneys: 4 Things to Watch Out For On Your Spouse’s Bank Account

Is your spouse taking you to Taco Bell but their lover to Ruth's Chris? Give Meyer, Middleton, & DeLuca a call at 205-202-0070

Is your spouse taking you to Taco Bell but their lover to Ruth’s Chris? Give Meyer, Middleton, & DeLuca a call at 205-202-0070

You’ve just come home to find your significant other is “working” late yet again. You’ve been resisting the urge to look at the internet history on your computer because you’re concerned it’ll only confirm you worst fears. You’ve noticed the late nights keep getting later and later. You’ve noticed you’re being seduced less and less. You’re beginning to feel as attractive as Michael Jackson post his 90th plastic surgery or Gilbert Grape’s mother. You finally decide that maybe it’s time to check your spouse’s credit card statements to see your spouse is lying about the long nights at work. You find a few things on there that don’t make sense, but you aren’t sure what is a sign that your spouse should come home to find the house re-keyed, or if you are simply overreacting. According to a new survey conducted on the, oh so wonderfully immoral website ashleymadison.com (which by the way is a website for men looking to cheat on their wives) the things you should be weary of are (you can check out the entire list here):

  1. Expensive Chain Steak Restaurants: If your spouse is a man who’s buying the girl steak, he’s probably expecting her to put out. If your spouse is a woman doing the wooing, she knows he’ll put out for steak. Truthfully, one can’t go wrong when it comes to a good steak, unless he or she is having an affair with a vegetarian. With it being low carb, the paramour (that’s fancy for lover) is less likely to gain some chub. It’s a win-win. It seems fancy, but since it’s a chain, it’s probably not too fancy. Examples of the favorite places in the survey that are in Birmingham: Ruth’s Chris ,Outback, Red Lobster ,and Flemings
  2. Chain restaurants in general: These places are crowded, so your spouse is less likely to get noticed. Then, if they are noticed, there’s the old standby of “Well, why would I be so stupid as to be out in public with someone if I were cheating?” Examples of the favorite places in the survey that are in Birmingham: Chili’s, P.F. Changs  and Cheesecake Factory
  3. Hotels: The thing is, these restaurants probably aren’t the golden ticket to proving that your spouse is cheating. Unless there is a hotel nearby, the probability of the cheating isn’t very high. Working up an appetite at work isn’t unheard of, but working one up then going to eat at a Chili’s with a Holiday Inn attached is a flashing warning sign. The survey pointed out that most of these dark lovely steakhouses and restaurants were usually pretty close to a hotel, because we all know what comes after a good steak and a few glasses of wine.
  4. Anything over 20 miles from your house: Drama in the suburbs = many successful seasons of desperate housewives. No one is stupid enough to cheat in public in their own neighborhood. I take that back. Most people who are able to hide their cheating, won’t do it in their own neighborhood.  They will choose a place in the busy part of town, while their spouse is at home with the kids. They will choose a place that is dark and crowded with strangers. That way they aren’t risking a drink in the face, a foot to the crotch, or a phone call to a divorce attorney.

 

Birmingham Divorce Attorneys: How You Should NOT Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

Everyone wants a storybook romance. They want the prince charming, the white horse, and the castle as their home. On the contrary, no one wants the movie divorce story. No one wants the drama, the violence, or the absolute absurdity that comes with what makes a good movie about the dissolution of someone’s marriage. Of course it makes a good story, and maybe your spouse is such a terrible person that he or she probably deserves what’s below. The typical soon to be ex, though, doesn’t. Sometimes it’s better to take the high road. Believe me, there’s plenty of time for a good story to evolve throughout the divorce. Here’s ways not to tell your spouse that you want a divorce (caveat: these do not apply to mentally and physically abusive spouses):

  1. On Facebook. We’ve all heard the urban legend of the husband or wife who changes their relationship status on Facebook to divorced or single before the two have even discussed the idea of divorce. It’s funny in theory, but really? This is not middle school. Don’t let your soon to be ex-spouse find out that they are about to be single through facebook or any other social media. Further, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, put that you’re in a relationship or that you’re engaged if you are not divorced yet.
  2. On a Billboard.  Unless your spouse has been a complete Tiger Woods/John Edwards/Kristen Stewart/Hugh Grant/Leann Rhimes type of philanderer, it may be good to hold those reigns on your anger. Further, even if he or she is a complete JFK going after every Marilyn who lets their dress blow up for anyone who is willing to
    Hire us before he does... Give Meyer, Middleton, & DeLuca a call at 205-202-0070 to set up a consult TODAY... before you do THIS.

    Hire us before he does… Give Meyer, Middleton, & DeLuca a call at 205-202-0070 to set up a consult TODAY… before you do THIS.

    take a peek, take the Jackie O approach and don’t let your anger feed your need for revenge. When I want to get dirty and angry, I prefer to take the “what would Jackie do” approach and wait a moment. Let your lawyers do the dirty work, and be the bad person. Take the high road so that you’re not seen as vindictive. It’s better going in as the victim than as the bitter ex.

  3. Through your lawyer. It’s always best to let your spouse know it’s coming unless there is a risk of abuse. Imagine thinking everything is going well, then you receive papers saying your better half wants to end your marriage. That’s essentially breaking up with someone in a letter or a note. Talk about passive aggressive! Might as well put it on one of these notepads:

    I have these - They work for Multiple better things..

    I have these – They work for multiple better things..

  4. In a restaurant. Have you seen Legally Blond?  If not – check it out here. Fast forward to around 2:20 or so.  If you think going to a fancy schmancy restaurant will keep your spouse from causing a scene or being upset, think again.  Dissolving your marriage is kind of a big deal. It makes Ron Burgundy look like an average joe. Do it in private. Let your ex mourn, or throw a hissy. You can leave if you don’t like it. Don’t embarrass them and give everyone else a good story to tell their friends about ESPECIALLY if you live in a small town.
  5. Through your paramour. What better way to admit adultery and to allow your new lover to tell your spouse. It makes your attorney’s life harder because they have to defend you against adultery. It makes your life harder because your spouse is past grief and onto anger. That’s when the billboards start popping up.

3 Reasons Why You Should Love Mellie From Scandal

Some of you may love and adore Scandal almost as much as we do. It’s a fabulous show

That's right Mellie, you tell him! Adultery is a no-no!

That’s right Mellie, you tell him! Adultery is a no-no!

full of dirty little secrets and tons of drama. In addition to the biggest “scandal” of the show which is the President’s love affair with Olivia Pope, there’s numerous mini scandals in each episode. However, the biggest Scandal is the topic of today’s blog. The President of the United States, Fitzgerald Grant (what a presidential name!) is married to a beautiful, smart, and extremely well put together woman, but he’s having an affair with yet another beautiful, smart, and extremely well put together woman. His wife, although very upset, doesn’t leave him or throw him under any political bus, decides to stay with him for the stability of their family, his career, and the national image. We respect her, and pity her, because although she’s angry and rather bitter, she is the one continuously being betrayed. Although she is really the victim, she’s treated as a nemesis or antagonist in the show. Here are the reasons why you should like Mellie:

  1. She gave up her career as a lawyer to support her husband’s life. A lot of our clients deal with this issue all the time. They are well educated women with a great career ahead of
    We know it's love, but Mellie deserves better!

    We know it’s love, but Mellie deserves better!

    them. They fall in love. They begin decreasing their hours at work so that they can take over things at home so their husband can increase hours at work and build a substantially better career. Once they have kids they begin staying at home more because they can’t do both money wise. Eventually, years down the road, they’re the supporting character in their husband’s show and he no longer cares. They’re left to pick up the pieces and start over. Mellie has given up a lot to ensure that Fitz has an incredible career, and we don’t feel that she’s given enough credit for this.

  2. She attempts multiple times to fix the decline in her marriage. She doesn’t give up at the first sign of an issue (obviously). Multiple times, regardless of how her husband treats her, she picks up the pieces and attempts to fix their marriage. There are a lot of times when people give up too easily, and decide that marriage isn’t worth it. Mellie is about values, image, and her vows. She stands by him, and continues to do so even though it’s clear he’s in love with someone else. Personally, she has one heck of a divorce case against him, but they haven’t gotten there yet!
  3. He is an adulterer. Listen, we love Olivia & Fitz, but Fitz is having sex behind his wife’s back with another woman. He is in love with this woman. He is morally and legally wrong in doing this. Sure, we’re on the side of love, but what about Mellie’s love for Fitz? They have children together, and a life together. He is committing the ultimate marriage betrayal and Mellie deserves more for that.

Imagine being one of our clients, and finding out your husband has been having, not just an affair, but a LOVE
affair with another woman. You’ve given up your career for him, and given him multiple chances to rectify this situation, but he simply doesn’t care. He’d give up the career you two built together and the marriage/family you’ve created to be with this other woman. It’s not romantic, it’s deplorable, and you’re left past your career prime as a single mother. You’re beautiful, smart, and well put together. You, Mellie, are the ideal client. If she walked in our office, she’d get the royal treatment. She deserves better than Fitz, and so do you. (Furthermore, so does Liv…)

 

Birmingham Divorce Lawyer’sTen Tips on How To Prove Adultery

It’s a Tuesday evening. A wife patiently awaits her husband’s arrival in her sexiest red lacy lingerie and matching red high heels. She’s drinking a glass of chardonnay. Half of the bottle is gone since she’s been waiting two hours for him to come home. Once again, he’s working late and is nowhere to be found.  He walks in and next thing they know they are passionately celebrating their 7 year anniversary kissing and tearing at each other’s clothing. She pulls away for a moment as she gets a whiff of a perfume that’s not hers. She ignores the warning sign and thinks that it must have been the aroma from the dinner that’s been growing cold in the dining room mixed with his cologne. She pulls him down onto the bed and lands on an earring that isn’t hers. She hesitates and her husband mutters, “Oh, come on, Sherri.” That’s when she stands up and says, “MY NAME IS JANE.” She stumbles into a divorce attorney’s office the next day armed with her recollection of the smell, his long nights, and the earring she found in her bed.

Always bag those boxers!

Always bag those boxers!

A lot of times people come into our office stating they “believe” or even that they know that their significant other is cheating or in an adulterous relationship. However, more often than not, the client has no proof of that adultery. They say it is based off of a feeling or the fact their significant other doesn’t touch them anymore. We typically ask for the “smoking gun” so to say but there isn’t one.  In order to avoid this situation we want to offer up a few ways in which you can prove in a court of law that your significant other is in fact stepping out on you.

 

  1. Facebook (or any other social media) posts, messages, or emails that state outright that your spouse is cheating. Especially if there is one that states a change in relationship, and names the person that they are now dating. (This DOES happen). Also, check for your spouse on Facebook from time to time. They may have a Facebook alias.
  2. Emails between your spouse and their significant other (again, look for a hidden email address). It is super helpful if they happen to leave themselves signed into their email.
  3. Pictures or videos taken by you or private investigator.
  4. Clothing or jewelry you have found that has no explanation as to how it appeared in your bed or bedroom.
  5. Pictures or even an actual shirt with makeup on it. (Don’t wash it! Put it in a plastic bag!)
  6. Recorded phone calls between you and your spouse in which they admit that they are having an affair. (Do not record telephone calls between your spouse and their paramour. You can only record conversations in which you are a party (meaning you are part of the conversation)).
  7. Love letters or gifts that were written to your significant other by someone else.
  8. If someone tells you about the affair, have them come in and testify.
  9. Credit card or bank statements that show purchases of gifts, dinners, and hotel room purchases.
  10. Any text messages between you or your spouse regarding the paramour or any text messages you see between your significant other and their paramour.

 

BONUS: The ultimate winning ticket- The paramour’s testimony once they find out that their new found love is married, and they’ve been lied to this entire time. What’s that saying about a woman scorned? Point made.

10 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating On You

Adultery

Adultery

Adultery is quite common in divorces these days. It is either true or extremely suspected for the majority of clients we’ve seen. According to Divorcestatistics.com, this typically occurs after the first year when the honeymoon period is over, after the first child is born, during the 7 year itch period, or during midlife crises time. Adultery is the ultimate betrayal and often leads to messier divorces because emotions are high. Adultery can sometimes change the leverage one side has in the divorce especially if there is a prenuptial agreement in place that is invalidated by it. Also, adultery can lead to leverage if someone is choosing affair constantly over the welfare of their child(ren). Here are 10 Sings to look for if you suspect your spouse of cheating:

1. Your spouse has taken recent new interest in his or her appearance. (Going to gym, dying their hair, new haircuts and hairstyles out of the ordinary, buying out of the ordinary outfits). There are times when we find new looks or outfits on sites like Pinterest that give us ideas on how to revamp our look… however, if your significant other goes from 0 – 90 out of nowhere, there may be a problem. If your spouse wears ratty jeans for years, and shoes where the sole of the shoe flaps when they walk, then they start racking up 500-600 dollar charges at the mall out of nowhere, you need to check into what’s going on to inspire this change. However, if your spouse was recently on What Not to Wear… it’s probably just a side effect of that show.

2. Your spouse has taken a sudden new interest in work. Your spouse is no longer home as soon as the work day has finished. They are coming home later and later yet there is no change to their pay. They don’t have any real explanation for their long hours, or give vague excuses as to why they are never home. We all know that this one is part of the cliché on divorces and cheating. People start saying, “I have to work late…” which leads to suspicion. The problem is most clichés become clichés because there is some truth linked to them. It’s easy to say you were working, when you’re having an affair with someone you’re working with… 36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a coworker (Divorcestatistics.com).

3. They start limiting your access to their cell phone. If you’ve had an open cell policy, and then next thing you know, your spouse has stopped allowing you to pick up their cell or they act jumpy when you’re near it, there’s cause for suspicion.

4. They take a strong interest in Facebook or other social media that they never used before. Facebook and social media have been linked multiple times to cheating and adultery. There are many articles out there these days that relate social media and reconnecting with old lovers, and sometimes even establishing new online relationships. People think harmless chatting and flirting online will not lead to anything, until next thing they know, they’re spending hours chatting with someone who isn’t their spouse. This eventually leads to more temptation of meeting up with this person privately.  They haven’t gotten caught thus far, and they really enjoy time with them online. They begin wondering what could a little meet and greet really harm? Now they are emotionally attracted to this person, and they are alone with them, seeing them in person…

5. There are strange charges on their credit card statement that they cannot explain. Jewelry Stores, Restaurants, and Hotels are the ones that immediately come to mind, however think about things like grocery store purchases when they never bring groceries home…

6. They start using cash. If your spouse never uses cash and all of a sudden they are getting withdraws on a weekly basis, they’re wanting to hide their purchases. This doesn’t necessarily mean an affair, but it is a cause for concern. This could also be a sign of other illicit behavior.

7. They begin a strange hobby they never had interest in before. Sometimes people get bored in life, and want to try something new. However, there are times when one should pay attention that their spouse has taken an interest in ballroom dancing they never had before, or painting… or pottery (scene from Ghost anyone?)

8. Your Spouse’s behavior in the bedroom changes. He or She may be more likely to have sex, or completely stop having sex with you. The two ends of the spectrum are quite different, but could both be caused by an affair. Have they started using new moves, you’ve never seen before? Have they lost interest completely? There is actual medical research that says when a man has sex more often, it actually sparks his interest to keep having sex due to the increased testosterone. This causes him to have sex with his mistress, then want to subsequently have sex with you as well.

9. Your spouse begins accusing you of cheating. Transference. It’s as easy as that. The spouse is feeling guilty, and thus starts transferring their guilt onto you by accusing you of cheating.

10. Your spouse becomes hard to get ahold of when you call. The two of you used to be inseparable. You would check in throughout the day. You could call each other and would receive a response within minutes. Suddenly, they don’t check in throughout the day. They aren’t calling you back when you call. You’ll receive weird text messages saying they’re busy at work and can’t call you back. You can’t get ahold of them for several hours even in times of emergency or importance.