Want to know how to get revenge on your spouse in a divorce? Give Magic City Law a call: 205-582-2832
You’re going through a divorce. The person that you once loved, or at least liked enough to have one killer wedding, is now your mortal enemy. You really want to stick it to them in the best way. That would be without repercussions. You have been listening to “Hit Em Up Style” for weeks on repeat and you’re ready to run the credit cards to the limit. You’ve also thought about taking out a billboard with a picture of your spouse after a bout of the flu. Then there was that brief moment that you thought about putting some poison in their morning coffee which went away pretty fast when you thought about the kiddos. As divorce attorneys, we know that these thoughts, while sometimes fleeting, happen. Here’s how to really get back at your spouse during the divorce:
Hire Smart: The best people hire lawyers who focus their practice around the kind of law that they need a lawyer for. Would you hire a foot surgeon to operate on your heart? It’s very similar. Hire someone who focuses their entire business on your type of issue. As a firm that only does family law, we have had to go against people who do not “get it.” They dabble and waste your money while they do it. They gamble with their clients. They simply hope their facts are good enough to overcome the fact that they have never read one case nor have they ever set foot in a domestic court room. Most of the time they spend more of your money flailing about to figure out what they need to do. Speaking of which, there are firms that we often call “front loaders.” They love you and leave you. They get your money and immediately do anything and everything to exhaust your retainer. Then they simply deuce out. Bye Felicia. We say this to say – DO YOUR RESEARCH!
Sweet like Honey: Everyone knows the saying – You’ll get more flies with honey… so each and every time your ex sends you a rude message cussing you to hades and back, bless his/her heart and act like the sweet Southerner we all are. Remember anything in writing (and recorded) can and will be used against you in a court of law. So, I suggest killing them with kindness on each and every chance you get. Save it for the courtroom and let your lawyer be the “bad guy.” It’s a good idea to save the attitude for when it is necessary. It’s an even better idea to have their bad behavior to use against them when you’ve been nothing but “pure grace.”
Be Happy: Even if you have to fake it until you make it. I have a story for you. There was this woman who’s husband was a total POS. He did almost everything you can think of to warrant a divorce. She was angry about it and, to this day, she’s not fond of him. However, after she got rid of that dead weight, she began going to school. She got a degree as a paralegal from a really great school. She bought and paid for her first home with her sweet son. He’s still acting the same way with his new lady, and now he’s unemployed. She’s working for one of the best firms in the Magic City. Even if you already have a killer career, try a new hobby. Find something that puts a smile back on your face! You need to use this as a refresh button. We don’t end happy marriages, we give you the opportunity to start your happily ever after.
The divorce process is ever changing. There are many routes that you can take once you begin going through the divorce process. Each case is different, so you cannot read one or two blogs and know exactly how it is going to go. Everything depends on your judge, opposing counsel, and your spouse. Unless you ask Ms. Cleo how things are going to be handled, you really have no way of knowing where or how your path will lead you. We can guarantee that you will end up divorced, but the “if’s, and’s, and but’s” will always be there to tell you each case is different and we cannot predict everything about your case.
Make a consultation
We charge $150.00 to meet with both attorneys for an hour. After we meet with you, if you decide to retain within 48 hours we’ll put that $150.00 toward your retainer. There are some law firms that do not charge a consultation. Most of the time, those firms are looking for new business or they take cases based on their winnings. Because we only do family law, we do not work that way. We make our money based off of our knowledge of this area of the law and our knowledge of the system.
Think of it like a co-pay. You pay for us to tell you what’s wrong and how to fix it. We evaluate and tell you what we need to prescribe you to fix your problem and how much it is going to cost. “Oh, your wife is having an affair with your brother when she said she was sick in bed? And, you have a multi-million dollar business that may or may not have been doing some shady stuff?” That’s a doozy. Looks like that retainer is a bit higher than others…
Hire an Attorney
Once you hire us, we’ll immediately begin your case. It normally takes about 5-7 days for us to get any necessary paperwork drafted unless you’re working on an emergency timeline. (That’s a different situation.)
Immediate Hearing/Emergency Hearing
Do you need an emergency hearing or a “pretty quick hearing”? Maybe your Wife has been stealing your child’s ADHD medication, and she took little Timmy and ran away. Last you heard she was a collarbone-protruding-size-00 living in a park tiny house (which is really just a cardboard box with some marker drawn shrubbery) with Timmy and their new friend Gutter Gus. You probably need immediate action from the Court to obtain custody of Timmy. Maybe your Husband found out that you know about his affair with your daughter’s ballet teacher, and he’s decided that he was going to drain all of your joint accounts to buy her new dance floors and ballet barres for each of her eight studios.
You probably need immediate action to stop him from putting you both into a large amount of debt. What do you do? You file for Pendente Lite. This is a Motion asking for a Hearing with the Court to temporarily settle some issues during the pendency of the case. After a Motion is filed, you wait for a Hearing date. This is not always immediate, but sometimes it is. You’re at the mercy of the Court’s calendar. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Motion, Motion, Motion
In the meantime, while you’re awaiting possible trial date, there are many things that can happen to get you relief whether it’s mental or financial. Perhaps it’s a Motion for Second Pendente Lite Hearing, or a Motion to Compel, or Motion to Show Cause, or Motion to “Please Make My Spouse Behave Like a Human Being.” These are like sprinkles that go along the path of the “process.” Motion to Move on To Number 5.
You two are okay living apart. The bills are getting paid. The two of you are able to schedule time with the children. The overall split appears to be going as well as could be. At this point in time, you merely need lawyers to help you two negotiate and work out a fair agreement because you aren’t sure what is fair. You aren’t sure what the paperwork needs to say. You don’t do this for a living, so you need someone who does. During this time, this could take months or years if you can’t come to an agreement. If the two of you aren’t in constant fights and arguments, the negotiation will continue until you are able to come to an agreement.
If you can’t come to one, it might be best to seek the Court’s help. That’s why you wait until a Settlement Conference is set up or Mediation. The thing is, if you aren’t asking for the Court’s immediate help, you’re merely outside of the Court’s eye. It’s like children playing in the sandbox having a ninja turtle dispute quietly while there are other children pulling each other’s hair and throwing transformers at each other in plain view of their parents. This could take a long time because you cannot force someone into an agreement when they simply do not want to agree. This is why we utilize settlement conferences (informal- in our offices / formal- at the courthouse), mediation (a negotiation where there is a third party who facilitates the process), or simply letters & phone calls. Once again, remember: you cannot beat someone or starve someone into an agreement. If they will not agree, we cannot make them. So if you can’t agree, you trek on …
Discovery is a beast. It is the process of “discovering” what the opposing side has by multiple different methods like: issuing questions to be answered by the other party under oath and producing documents regarding anything from bank accounts to health records. You can also request they be present for a deposition. A deposition is where you are questioned under oath while a court reporter takes down everything you say. It is expensive and it’s time consuming, but it is a necessary evil.
One of the big issues people have when they are going through a divorce is that they don’t know their spouse’s every secret. They may have thought they knew each other. They may know how many times the other person toots when they sleep or what their favorite vegetable could be, but they don’t know how much is in their retirement, their five savings accounts, or their hidden social media accounts. This is why Discovery is important.
Attorneys simply cannot advise you on a good settlement if the other party has a yacht hidden away. That’s why we look into the depths of their accounts and their souls. We’re protecting you and ourselves. The Discovery process helps rid you of surprises for the trial. It helps you find out what their “theme” of the case may be. Are they saying that you’re a controlling gold digger? Are they saying that you hated your oldest child? What are they trying to prove? You need to know so that you can address it.
If you cannot come to an agreement, it’s time to start putting together exhibits, testimony, and searching for who you want in your battle. You come prepared with bank statements, photos, recordings, etc. and you learn the do’s and don’ts of testifying before the Judge. We’ll go more into detail on this later, but trial isn’t fun. It’s a long drawn out day where you are interviewed on your most intimate details and your most tedious ones: “Please state your name and your address.” “When did you get married?” “How long have you been married?” “Before you got married, where were you working? Your spouse?”
You spend hours talking about what went wrong and tearing each other apart. The two of you sling mud back and forth and you attempt to show that you’re the wronged party. You issue subpoenas on people you want to testify. Does he have a girlfriend? Send her an invite to the divorce show. Does she leave your children with her new BFF, Casey Anthony, while she goes out drinking? Come on down, Casey. You’ve lost your control over the outcome, and it’s in the Judge’s hands now.
Do you need to talk with one of our divorce attorneys but you cannot make it into the office?
At Magic City Law, we understand that life is hectic and convenience is key. The partners of Magic City Law come from the generation of technology. This is why we are offering Skype Consultations for potential clients. Sometimes you cannot get off of work because you’ve already had too many mental health days due to the drama and fall out of your family law case. Sometimes your babysitter canceled last minute. Sit back, close & lock the door, pull up your laptop, and give us a call.
Want to take advantage of this opportunity? Follow these directions!
To schedule your SKYPE consultation, simply contact us by phone (205-582-2832) or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Once you speak with Rachel, our wonderful paralegal, she will get a little information. Let her know you are interested in an appointment via Skype and pay your consultation fee of $150.00 to book your time-slot. After you have booked your appointment, Rachel will then send you an email with your attorney’s user name.
Log in to Skype ten to fifteen minutes before your scheduled appointment time, and add your attorney’s username to your Skype contacts.
Can’t Let It Go? Here’s a few factors for negotiating in that case… Give us a call for a custody consultation at 205-582-2832!
A child’s first visit to Disney World is… well…magical. There are really no other words to describe the experience. As an adult, I find Disney to be amazing. I will often look past the scorching heat, ridiculous crowds, germs, and (minimal) threat of Zika, to bask in the sparkly dreamlike reality that is Disney World. This being said, and not really sure if it’s because of my reputation for being a Disney freak, but we have seen a new growing trend in custody cases – Who gets to take the minor child(ren) to Disney for their first trip? Some parents simply cannot let it go…Here’s a few things to consider when negotiating this:
The Age of Your child. Just because you want to be the first one to take Belle to meet Gaston in her yellow gown that you ordered from Etsy right after the divorce papers were filed, does not mean that you should take a three month old to Disney just so you can get first dibs on the monumental occasion. There are more and more people who rush this first trip simply to one up the other parent. Their child can’t get on any of the rides. They’re subjected to the humiliating height measuring apparatus in front of all of the other children only to be told that they cannot partake in all of the really fun and enjoyable rides. They end up crying while listening to the torture that is the Tikki Room while you’re happy simply because you got the “first trip to Disney.” In this situation, was it really worth it? Perhaps you two should negotiate an agreement as to when is the appropriate time and age of your child’s first trip.
The reality of taking Your Child while still being able to afford your financial obligations. Disney is expensive. If you don’t know this, you’ve obviously never been to the best place on Earth. There are plenty of free things you can do to save money, but the kids want none of that. Having the full experience requires moolah. If you’re not meeting your obligations in your Divorce Decree, or previous Order, like paying child support, alimony, or attorney’s fees, but you’re forking out the dough to grace the magical main street of Disney World, you might just be petty. You should always meet your obligations before trying to be the parent to race to Disney first.
Your Child. So, you may not have noticed, but there’s been a tiny theme throughout this blog. That theme is the following: You should always put your child first in any and all contested cases. Stop and think, am I doing this because I think it’s what is best for my child, or because I want some sort of revenge? Is it really best to race off to Disney to get back at your ex? Is it a good idea to mention your negotiations to your child (Oh, I’d love to take you to Disney next year, but daddy is their newest villain, Dr. Dream Destroyer)? Is your child a pawn in a game you’re playing? Our firm is very child oriented, and we often feel like parents will lose the focus on their child when they’re angry at their ex. It’s easy to do when your child is so small and your ex’s ego is so big… but don’t forget that they’re always watching, listening, and feeling what you’re putting out there. Don’t let the happiest place on Earth turn into a tumultuous memory. (I used to love Disney until I got the plague when mom took me as a two-year-old to keep Dad from being the first one to take me.) (I hate Disney because we lost our house since Dad decided to spend three months of mortgage payments on a weeklong vacation just to spite my mother. Now, me, my six siblings, and Mom are living in what Mom calls a tiny house, but it’s actually an RV that is broken down in a trailer park.)
Overall- Your child’s first Disney trip could be something very important to you. Remember to cover this while you’re negotiating, and make sure you resolve it without involving your child in the battle.