Birmingham Family Law Attorneys: 8 No No’S When Dressing For Court

Please don't make us, as your attorneys, have to make this phone call... If you need reminding call 205-202-0070!
Please don’t make us, as your attorneys, have to make this phone call… If you need reminding call 205-202-0070!

I’ve been in Court for four days this week, which has given me time to not only work toward the perfect resolution for my cases, but to also people watch in my down time. You see, we see all the different people going in and out of the court system. We see people showing up begging to get their children back, but they can’t even dress themselves appropriately for Court. We explained in the past how to dress for court, so I thought a second blog would not be necessary to explain how NOT to dress for court. However, after seen a woman walking in with see through leggings with her thong shining through, I think it might need to be said. Also, the abundance of bra straps that I’ve seen in the past four days has me slightly unnerved. Here are the No-No’s:

  1. No T’s (No t-shirts, tattoos, or ta-ta’s). Those things are for your significant other, or your doctor to see. You should dress with those three C’s that I mentioned in my first blog on this matter. You need to look classy, and church-like. If you have claws tattooed across your chest, cover it up. You may want to draw attention to that area to attract a mate, but court is not the place to go a courtin’.
  2. No armpits. Do not wear tank tops, and certainly NO HALTER TOPS, NO TUBE TOPS. I know they say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but in my opinion, when it comes to the Courthouse, cardigans are a girl’s best friend. Notice how I didn’t mention men wearing tank tops? That’s because, in my personal opinion, that really should never happen in public past the age of 2 for males.
  3. No pleather. Just no.
  4. No dressin’ for your baby daddy. I don’t care how handsome he is or how long it has been since you’ve seen him. Do not dress to impress him when you go to court. He got you in this mess. Do you really want him back? If so, do you want to risk the Judge having a negative first impression of you because you’re wearing a mini skirt and halter top to a court of law? Don’t do it. Like I said, there’s no courtin’ in court.
  5. No camouflage. I know you want to hide from the situation you’re in, and you want to hide from the law, but we can still see you in court. In fact, you stand out if you’re wearing camo in the Courthouse. I don’t care if we’re in the South, this is not acceptable.
  6. No undies on the outside. I don’t care if you’re wearing a Versace bra. I don’t want nor need to see it in public. Please refer to paragraph #2.
  7. No jeans. There is no casual Friday when you step into a courtroom. Respect the laws that uphold your country, your state, and your county. Do not let me see you walking into a courtroom wearing jeans when you could have easily have put on a sundress. I know some churches are okay with jeans these days, and there are casual Fridays at work, but do not disrespect the court system by dressing like you’re going to Walmart.
  8. No Leggings. (Yes, even if they’re lululemon).
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