Judgmental Judy’s are everywhere. When you are going through litigation they have the power to use their judgmental ways against you. Not only is your ex being unusually judgmental, but his/her lawyer, your lawyer, the Judge, possibly a Guardian Ad Litem, mutual friends, witnesses, and anyone else who comes into contact with your case. You thought that you had it bad when you became a parent and everyone wanted to tell you how to raise your child – Breast is best! Don’t spank! Your car seat technique is BAD! Vaccinations are for amateurs!
Imagine getting through that and then going through a divorce. Here are a few things that a Judgmental Judy might be using as ammunition to judge you:
- Co-sleeping. Hey, we get it. You’re close with your child. You both feel better when you’re in the security of each other’s company. However, co-sleeping is one of the first things that a Judgmental Judy will call you out for, especially if you and your kid(s) are the opposite sex. We understand that this is something that can easily be turned around on you. You could try making a safe sleeping zone on the floor near your bed for your little one. Likewise, perhaps you want to make a no man’s land by your child’s bed. The thing is, no matter how sweet co-sleeping is and how great it is for your bonding experience, your ex can easily turn something so sweet into something somewhat creepy, particularly if they never viewed co-sleeping in the same way.
- Bath time. Anything dealing with nakedness is a Judgmental Judy time bomb. WWOCS? (What would opposing counsel say) It’s one thing to make sure all conditioner is out and the suds are off. It’s another to be by your child the entire time they’re in their bath. (Please note that this does not apply to babies. Babies should not be left to fend for themselves in the bath. Supervision is the key on this one. I’m sure even Michael Phelps needed supervision as a baby in the tub.) This is another one of those things that changes with age. Consider age & gender.
- Twitter. Instagram. Snap Chat. Etc. Social media is not your friend. It’s a frenemy. It’s like that chick in college that you would tell your darkest secrets to, and then she’d tell everyone else the minute she has one red solo cup of beer. She wouldn’t be sorry. She would bask in the glow of your demise. We’ve said this before. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Don’t post it. Don’t let your friends post it. It doesn’t matter if you say something passive aggressive that doesn’t directly say that your ex-spouse and/or her/his attorney is a complete piece… someone else might finish your thought. Then they’re issued a sweet invitation to your divorce trial. #deleteyouraccount.
- Gossip. Say Goodbye to that part of you. Really -> XoXo Gossip Girl. Anything you say – can be used against you. I repeat, anything you say – can be used against you. I repeat, anything you say – can be used against you. Seriously, gossiping about your case can, and likely will, be used against you. Your best go-to for advice is your attorney. If you’re going to pay someone an hourly fee for advice, perhaps your bestie (who doesn’t happen to be an attorney) with the free advice isn’t the best person to contact. Also, although this should be OBVI, gossiping to your child or in front of them gives a Judgmental Judy every right to judge you. In fact, it turns me into one. I’m judging you. Stop. Your child is not your confidant, and the person you’re gossiping about is half of them. Just stop.
- Drinking. Posting a photo of 15 cans of beer in your child’s crib while you’re cheers-ing the camera – obviously not the best idea. Here’s your motto – think before you drink. Could that picture of a bottle of wine with your child in the background become an issue? Could those bottles of beer in the trash be used against you? When your child refers to wine as mommy’s sippy cup – would that be used against you? Sometimes something as innocuous as a picture of a margarita could haunt you worse than that terrifying woman in The Ring.