You’re going through a divorce. The person that you once loved, or at least liked enough to have one killer wedding, is now your mortal enemy. You really want to stick it to them in the best way. That would be without repercussions. You have been listening to “Hit Em Up Style” for weeks on repeat and you’re ready to run the credit cards to the limit. You’ve also thought about taking out a billboard with a picture of your spouse after a bout of the flu. Then there was that brief moment that you thought about putting some poison in their morning coffee which went away pretty fast when you thought about the kiddos. As divorce attorneys, we know that these thoughts, while sometimes fleeting, happen. Here’s how to really get back at your spouse during the divorce:
- Hire Smart: The best people hire lawyers who focus their practice around the kind of law that they need a lawyer for. Would you hire a foot surgeon to operate on your heart? It’s very similar. Hire someone who focuses their entire business on your type of issue. As a firm that only does family law, we have had to go against people who do not “get it.” They dabble and waste your money while they do it. They gamble with their clients. They simply hope their facts are good enough to overcome the fact that they have never read one case nor have they ever set foot in a domestic court room. Most of the time they spend more of your money flailing about to figure out what they need to do. Speaking of which, there are firms that we often call “front loaders.” They love you and leave you. They get your money and immediately do anything and everything to exhaust your retainer. Then they simply deuce out. Bye Felicia. We say this to say – DO YOUR RESEARCH!
- Sweet like Honey: Everyone knows the saying – You’ll get more flies with honey… so each and every time your ex sends you a rude message cussing you to hades and back, bless his/her heart and act like the sweet Southerner we all are. Remember anything in writing (and recorded) can and will be used against you in a court of law. So, I suggest killing them with kindness on each and every chance you get. Save it for the courtroom and let your lawyer be the “bad guy.” It’s a good idea to save the attitude for when it is necessary. It’s an even better idea to have their bad behavior to use against them when you’ve been nothing but “pure grace.”
- Be Happy: Even if you have to fake it until you make it. I have a story for you. There was this woman who’s husband was a total POS. He did almost everything you can think of to warrant a divorce. She was angry about it and, to this day, she’s not fond of him. However, after she got rid of that dead weight, she began going to school. She got a degree as a paralegal from a really great school. She bought and paid for her first home with her sweet son. He’s still acting the same way with his new lady, and now he’s unemployed. She’s working for one of the best firms in the Magic City. Even if you already have a killer career, try a new hobby. Find something that puts a smile back on your face! You need to use this as a refresh button. We don’t end happy marriages, we give you the opportunity to start your happily ever after.